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Family Constellations

I arrived in Ottawa in October 2000. I had been half a year in Canada. By 2004 I was still not a citizen, and still not feeling at home. I had a constant feeling of alienation, of not belonging, not finding my place. My citizenship application lied on the desk for one year before I blew the dust off it and applied. Immigrant friends told me I should expect to swear the oath within five months. Instead, within almost a year, I received a letter requesting my fingerprints, as I, or someone with my name, has done something bad somewhere under the sun.

 I was devastated. I broke down in tears, crying: Canada doesn’t want me.

 I went to a Family Constellation weekend. I had been introduced to the Family Constellations and Bert Hellinger’s systemic therapy by my dog’s vet, an extraordinary animal and people healer. He introduced this work to Ottawa, holding group therapy sessions every last Friday of each month. I had already seen results from this work, pure Soul healing that moves beyond words or beyond the explainable.

 This time the weekend was a special weekend, with a seasoned Hellinger therapist from Germany as presenting guest. The group was large, and many participants, including myself, were eager to do some personal healing work. Reading Bert Hellinger’s books helped me get an understanding of systems and how systemic healing works. I understood that I am part of many systems: my family, my workplace, my nation, my circle of friends – and many more systems. Each of the countries where I lived also formed a system. And if there is any imbalance at the systemic level, it impacts all the system’s components.

 So I opened a family constellation representing the countries where I lived. During the constellation, almost all the participants stood up and circled around me, representing my new compatriots: my Canadian friends. They embraced me and told me “Welcome home” while tears were rolling down my cheeks with emotion.

 Within two weeks from this constellation, I received a letter in my mail, inviting me to become a Canadian citizen. My Canadian friends celebrated with me with music, dance and goodies at my home - my Canadian home.

 Since then I have used the Family Constellations in my private practice, here and overseas, often with impressive results. A son lost somewhere in Europe calls home after his mother opens a constellation; a relationship between spouses changes; small and big, the changes reflect a change in the soul of the constellation.

You are part of many systems: your family of origin, your current family, your workplace, congregation, circle of friends, etc. When the flow of Love is, for whatever reason, disrupted in the system, it creates imbalance that finds expression in conflict, illness, poverty and dysfunction.

A family constellations process reveals the 'problem' that disrupts and denies Love's own order and flow. Most often, order and flow is re-established during the constellation process. The change affects change in the 'real' system of the participant. The other members of the system are affected too, regardless whether they are present or not, alive or not.

The Family Constellations work is introduced and inspired by Bert Hellinger, a therapist from Germany.

Sessions are available both private and group.

"Empty-handed I entered the world

Barefoot I leave it.

My coming, my going-

Two simple happenings

That got entangled." - Kozan Ichiyo