Three Conditions for Connecting

There are three fundamental conditions necessary to connect with other people: 

1: Genuine interest

2: Transparency

3:  Integrity

1 – Interest

Without a genuine interest in the other person, there cannot be a connection. There can be transactions, agreements, arrangements but no real, emotional, human connection. Being curious about each other, and inquiring into each other’s views, values, interests, lifestyle, and preferences is a necessary condition to connect.

When people are objectified, they are only as interesting to the eyes of the objectifier as the extent to which they can fulfill a need or a want. 

2 – Transparency

Without transparency, there are walls of distortion between people. Concealing the truth ruptures the connection, between partners, family members, friends, leaders, and community. Putting up masks and appearances leads to the illusion of relating, but relating to one’s masks or varnish does not connect with hearts and minds. The genuine connection needs self-revelation. 

Old models of leadership are crumbling, and communities whose leaders lead by creating an image rather than naked truth are losing members by the numbers.

3 – Integrity

Without integrity, there is no trust, and mistrust erodes connection. Integrity is to live up to one’s own values and word. Integrity requires both maturity and responsibility for one’s own projections (do your Shadow work, my loves!)